When Everything has Gone Pear Shaped…

One doesn’t usually laugh when things go “pear shaped” (a British expression for when things go wrong) and, certainly, there hasn’t been much to laugh about for the Porch siblings and families recently. Things haven’t been in “apple-pie order” or “wine and roses”  because our beloved Mum (also known as Granny Porch and Supergran) hasn’t been feeling so super; in fact, she has been very ill in hospital, and is currently quite frail and recuperating in a home other than her own. But, thankfully, Supergran still has the battling spirit and x-ray eyes that can wither a lesser opponent in a single glance; in other words, she is still herself and gaining strength slowly but surely.

Of course, even when things have gone “pear shaped” in some areas, some funny events happen… Take the time when my sister Mary and I were visiting our mother on Simpson Ward – d’oh! Now the outlook from Mum’s bed on that occasion was rather a grim one. Opposite were two old ladies, seemingly always asleep and visibly shrinking into their beds, and another lady sat in a chair beside her bed; to Mum’s right was another shrunken lady in the far bed by the window, and in the bed directly beside her was another lady whom I had never seen awake, and who lay there very still with her mouth wide open.

“Do you think that lady is on the way out?” I whispered in Mary’s ear whilst I looked in the direction of the latter.

Just as the words came out of my mouth the figure on the bed came to life and raised a hand to wave at me, and she smiled sweetly at us.

“Oh, how wonderful!” I exclaimed, standing up and walking over to the lady’s bedside. “You’re better. How are you feeling?”

The lady couldn’t speak but nodded as if to say that she was okay. Then I looked across at the lady who had been dozing in her chair. She, too, smiled at me and her eyes twinkled.

“You look better!”, I said, remembering how static she had been with her slumped against her chest on my previous visit. “You looked so ill yesterday” I added.

“I really do feel much better, ” assured the little lady profusely.

“Oh, I feel so pleased that you ladies are getting better,” I enthused.

Back beside my sister, Mary leaned in to whisper in my ear:

“That’s not the same lady who was in that bed yesterday!”

 Oops! 

Another funny thing happened only yesterday, and this time I was able to laugh aloud because nobody else was around… We were expecting our Airbnb guests from Canada and, while Chris rushed outside to see if there was adequate parking for them, I went upstairs to check that everything was looking perfect in the suite. A glance at the fruit bowl had me laughing in hysterics, then, of course, I had to run downstairs and grab my mobile phone before rectifying the slight problem of the pear shape! If you observe the photos below you will get my drift.