Don’t blame me – this came from Diana!
Sometimes, after the work is done, if it’s not actually raining, there is nothing we like better than to take to our bikes and go inland to the ford. When there, we always marvel that we need go such a short distance – less than a mile and a half – to be in the heart of the Devon countryside.
On Friday evening we had stood by the ford and watched two tractors – one making the huge round bales of hay, the other wrapping each bale tightly in a continuous length of plastic bandage – and it was fascinating; the bales looked like gigantic mummified eggs dropped on the field. A storm was brewing and the farmers were working against the clock.
We returned to the ford last night, called as we were by the beckoning evening sunshine, to find that the farmers had been successful in their efforts – the field was full of alien-looking eggs. A lone walker, an older lady, was out for her constitutional and she stopped on the tiny bridge over the ford to take in the sight at her leisure; she seemed not to mind that we were already there, perhaps it even increased her pleasure. The lady turned to us and said something. She spoke softly and we couldn’t hear (well I couldn’t hear so I knew that Chris wouldn’t either because he is a tad deaf, as you may know).
“Pardon?” I asked taking a few steps closer.
The lady repeated it but we still couldn’t hear. A second ‘Pardon?’ proved equally as futile. No matter, we understood from the expression on her face, and her gesticulations, that she was enamoured with the evening and also with the fact that she lived not far away – in the houses for the elderly at the end of the Newhay path (if I’m any judge of semaphore-type language, minus the paddles). We stayed nodding, smiling and saying “Yes”, at the right junctures (hopefully) for a period long enough to dispel any embarrassment over either our deafness or her inability to speak audibly. Back on our bikes again, and coasting down the empty road to Aller Arch, I called out to Chris as he came up beside me:
“Did you hear anything that lady said?”
“Not a word!” he exaggerated for the humour.
We cycled home by way the brook, which we had almost to ourselves because of the lateness of the hour; and yet the sun, though lowering in the sky, still shone for us, and for the two lads playing football on the green, and for the dog-walkers, and the woman who smelt of tobacco; and it shone for the pigeons, the geese, and the swans who were camera shy, and had me chasing after them along the brook. Chris noticed a plaque on a bench – on it was printed, “God Bless Mum and Dad” – and Chris thought something was missing (like the names of the dear departed). I don’t agree. What do you think?
Supermarkets are great places to meet new people and get chatted up. Indeed, more than one of my past love affairs began quite innocently, yet warmly, over freezer cabinets containing pizzas, petit pois, ice-cream and the like.
“What do you think of these pizzas? Have you tried them?” asked a handsome stranger to the town some years ago (pre Chris – I mean before Chris and I fell in love, not before he was born!).
Anthony was tall, blonde, blue-eyed, tanned and single, and he had a dazzling smile. We sizzled so much that it was a wonder everything in the freezer hadn’t thawed. He was also intelligent, charming and interesting, and we were still there a half hour later; we had tried to part several times – one or the other of us had moved a step away as if to go but, unable to leave just yet, stepped back into the private bubble made for two. At last we parted, but only after we had made the arrangement to meet up again a few hours later.
But that was all a long time ago. It doesn’t happen these days, except when I go shopping without Chris, which isn’t very often, except from when I’m away in Australia, and then, I assure you, it is nothing but harmless fun – hardly any sizzling and no hardship in breaking away, at least from my point of view. That’s why what happened yesterday was so weird…
At the time Chris and I were in Tesco at Newton Abbot and we were starving (not the best place for an unsuccessful slimmer to be starving). Having been around the whole store once already, without succumbing to temptation, we had forgotten laundry detergent and somehow ended up back at the chiller cabinet that holds all things sweet and delectable. We stood there for some minutes debating which slice to indulge in – a cream one or a custard one? And whilst we leaned into the cabinet to inspect the goodies, somebody had come up behind us.
“What is she encouraging you to have?” asked a rather camp voice that we didn’t recognise.
We turned around, surprised but not alarmed, to find a stranger eager to converse with us. He was around my height and perhaps in his late forties; he looked a bit like Ricky Gervais, the old singer from the eighties, now turned actor/comedian. He was grinning from ear to ear.
“I’m encouraging her to have a cream slice,” replied Chris gallantly (though I didn’t need much encouragement).
“You’re such a nice looking, happy couple,” the comedian continued, “I left my friend over there (he pointed) and I just thought it would be nice to talk to you”.
He asked a few questions to which we answered a tad charily and then I asked:
“Are you a journalist desperate for a story?”
“No,” he laughed, “I’m a people-watcher, that’s all.”
We continued to humour the Ricky look-alike with the camp voice until at last we had run out of humour and there was a silence filled with empty smiles. I stepped sidewards to make to go when Ricky put out his hand for a handshake.
“It’s been fantastic to meet you both,” he said. “You look so attractive,” he shook my hand and turned to shake Chris’s. “Hasn’t she got a beautiful smile? Doesn’t she look naughty?”
“Yes,” said Chris now wearing a fake smile and a frown of perplexity and annoyance.
“Listen, you guys,” the annoying Ricky seemed intent on keeping us there, “Seeing as you’re such lovely people, how about hooking up with me later and coming out for a drink?”
For a moment we were too taken aback to answer and there was an embarrassing simpering on our part (well, what would you do?) while I hoped Chris would come up with a good answer. Likewise, Chris hoped that I would be quick-witted enough to come up with a response that would correspond with his own wishes.
“We don’t go out, do we Darling?” I tittered stupidly as I looked to Chris for back up.
“No, we don’t go out – we’re very self contained,” Chris smiled with relief.
Seconds later Chris and I were in the aisles, heading for the checkout.
– “What do you think he wanted?” I asked.
– “I don’t know but thank goodness you said no – I thought you might have agreed to go.”
– “Crikey!”
– “Do you reckon he was a ‘swinger’, as they say?”
– “No, I think it was a joke.”
We were at the checkout when Ricky and his friend came along with their trolley.
“Did you think I was odd asking you out for a drink?” asked the still grinning fellow.
“Yes,” I replied, “I think it was a joke – you just wanted to see what reaction you would get.”
He laughed but didn’t confirm my suspicions, except by dint of his lack of objection to my theory.
“We’re newly divorced,” said his friend, sheepishly, “But he’s been divorced for a while longer. He’s supposed to be guiding me but I’m afraid he’s not pointing me in the right direction.”
“No, it’s not altogether a bad idea, just next time, you might both do better chatting up single ladies rather than happy couples,” I said.
“You’re a lucky man,” said Bryn (for that was his real name), this time with the suggestion of sincerity on his face as he turned to Chris.
And for the first time I didn’t think. “What a weirdo!”
You might guess where this came from… Thanks Rob!
It was my first time (honestly, Officer), and anyway, it appears that I wasn’t even all that good at carjacking – he managed to get away. If you’re wondering, I’m not talking about trying to pinch the jack of a car – I’m talking hijacking a slow-moving car. As a matter of fact, it all came very easily and naturally to me, as I will explain…
You see, we have finished our shopping at the Lidl store at Newton Abbot; the shopping is in the car and I have just brought our trolley back and retrieved our pound coin; I’m standing by the trolleys and looking at the car park, in particular, I’m looking for our car because Chris usually brings the car around, as close as possible to the trolley station, in order to save time (he has a bit of a thing about saving time). The car park is rather busy and I see a red car pulling out of a space; Chris is coming along in our new navy blue car and has to slow down while the red car completes his reverse turn.
In tune with Chris’s phobia about time-wasting, I begin to walk to the car (in the hope of gaining ten seconds that might be better spent in the car park of our next port of call). Ah, he can see me and puts on a little spurt in order to beat the red car to the exit. I am looking at both cars ahead and there is very little space between them – not enough room for me to open the front passenger door without hitting the side of the red car – but that’s okay because our car wins the race for the exit and advances a short distance before stopping to let me open the door. It is what I expected – what we always do – and, like a relay runner urging to grab the baton, I am surging forward to grab the door handle. My hand finds the cold chrome and pulls it in an outward motion. Our car leaps forward in a short sharp jerk, not enough to wrench my hand off, but sufficient to cause my hand to withdraw with surprise. The car lurches forward in a strange side-winder movement, pauses for a moment to show me the insignia (four silver circles linked together in a row) on his tail, then he zooms off.
“Ah,” I think to myself and laugh.
Still laughing, I walk around the car park and find our new navy blue Renault in the spot where I had left it.
It’s true that all cars look very much the same to me, unless they are a Mercedes, Rolls Royce or something of a very obvious style; though, of course, I can recognise the different colours and sizes. Once, a couple of years ago when I was in Australia and driving a red Toyota Corolla, my key actually opened the door of an identical, but younger, red Corolla – I had wondered why the key was so difficult to turn. Don’t worry, I didn’t steal the car; it wasn’t the beginnings of an exciting life of committing car crimes (honestly, Your Honour!).
In my defence, here are some photographs of identical black cars…
I don’t think such a thing has happened to me before, not that I’ve noticed, and it would be quite hard not to notice… when a low-flying plane is circling above you.
It was a beautiful sunny morning for a change and we couldn’t resist cycling over to Cockwood Harbour; it’s a fairly easy five-mile or so round trip, nice and flat by the sea, a few hills down – for pleasure – and the same hills up on our return – for fitness; and besides, the harbour looks different every time we go there, according to the tides, time of day, time of year, weather etc…
Chris and I were cycling back up the bridle path when we saw a small plane, flying low and coming towards us. A walker had stopped in his tracks to watch the spectacle. I stopped too.
“Hold on,” I said to Chris (not for the first time this morning) and got out my mobile phone camera.
The plane flew over our heads and off into the distance in the direction of Torquay. We thought the show was over. But no, the plane turned around and circled twice over our section of bridle path, each time going directly over our heads. It seemed to me that the pilot may have suspected that my mobile camera is a little slow to process after every click nowadays; certainly, I needed the two circles in order to get the few shots you will see here. I would have liked another turn because the sun was in my eyes and I couldn’t see what I was taking, but the pilot had already done his bit for my blog.
We are lucky to live in Dawlish where we have a fantastic air show every summer – we have a great view because our house looks over the sea; and yet, this was different – more personal. We felt highly honoured that the pilot had put on a display for us. Funnily enough, the plane had US, printed in large capitals, on its underside; no wonder we thought it was especially for us.
The rain, grey skies and cold weather of late haven’t provided much incentive to taking morning bike rides; some days you really have to force yourself and then you risk getting caught in a shower. I believe that you have to go out in order to live a little and make the most of life – even if that means getting wet occasionally. Hence, yesterday morning, upon awakening and observing the grey of day outside, Chris and I agreed to go for a cycle ride regardless; and we popped our raincoats in my basket.
In truth, there was no great pleasure to be had from cycling in the cold; it was just exercise. When we reached Cockwood Harbour the tide was in; the boats cast reflections on the water; and dandelions, pink weeds and long grasses edged the bank where we had parked our bikes. But the water was grey like the sky and I thought how lovely it would have been…if only the sun had been shining. Nevertheless, I captured the scene as it was – there was a sparkling oiliness to the water that gave it beauty, albeit a grey beauty. Just as I was lamenting the lack of sun and abundance of grey clouds, the sun burst through and lasted for about two minutes.
On the way back, I had stopped on the cycle path to take photographs of some pretty roses when a strapping cyclist dressed in yellow warned of the advance and imminent arrival of runners – a group of six athletic heroes (and add ons who had joined in for some of the way) who have been skiing, cycling, canoeing and running since Valentine’s Day (perhaps to avoid an avalanche of female suitors). The stalwart six had begun their journey in Norway and, not wishing to impede their progress on that leg of their route, we rushed off ahead of them to Dawlish Warren where we saw them again a few minutes later.
A couple of the marines awaiting the runners at Dawlish Warren told me about the Royal Marines 1664 Challenge (details of which I shall paste below). And while we chatted the runners came into view; several old people at the bus stop looked on with a degree of interest, if not exactly enthusiasm; my marines applauded and I took photographs with my now temperamental mobile phone camera. Unable to clap, I called out, “Well done!” My mother always told me, “You can tell that to the marines!”
In 2014 the Royal Marines will celebrate their 350th Anniversary. To commemorate this milestone Royal Marines will ski, sail, cycle, canoe and run 6656km (circa 4136 miles); the event will be called the Royal Marines 1664 Challenge. In outline, the Challenge will traverse four countries, span five months and involve over 2000 Royal Marines, including all Commando and Reserve Units. Beginning on 14 February 2014, Royal Marines will ski 1664km from north to south Norway. Marrying up with a Challenger 67 yacht, they will then sail 1664 miles south around Europe to Gibraltar. Turning north, they will cycle 1664km through Spain and France to Saint Malo, canoe across the English Channel and finally run 1664km around the United Kingdom. The final day on 25 July 2014 will be a marathon around the City of London; this final event will end just prior to the start of the Royal Marines parade through the city. The Challenge will raise funds for the RMCTF; this is an opportunity for the whole Corps family to get involved, feel part of RM350 and raise money for their Charity.
Want to see some pictures of the dogs’ walk yesterday? Want to see the farm and the surrounding fields? You are in luck because I took these photographs with you in mind.