“Are you alright Mum,” I asked.

“Well, I was quite happy sat here by the door until a man came up to me,” answered Mum intriguingly.

We were in Tescos Newton Abbot store at the time. Mum was looking very sweet, wearing her candy-stripe frock and pink straw hat, and sat on a pile of boxes containing Masterchef barbecues.

“Look,” said Chris with a chuckle, “your mum is on sale for forty-five pounds!”

A short while later we were going home in the car and Mum said:

“I didn’t like it when the man came up to me.”

“He probably thought you looked cute,” I suggested.

“No, he asked me if I was alright,” Mum replied in a hurt voice, “and he asked if anyone was coming to pick me up. It made me feel old.”

“What did you answer, Mum?”

“I just said ‘Yes’ and turned away from him,” Mum sounded sad.

“Maybe he was the opposite of a paedophile – a nonagenarianphile? – and he was grooming you, Mum,” I joked.

“A geriatricaphile,” helped Chris (with his greater knowledge).

“Who would be that mad?” asked Mum after a moments conjecture.

“You’d be surprised,” I said, “there are quite a few men who fancy old ladies!”

“Perhaps I should have said ‘No’ then,” Mum quipped and we all laughed.