Thanks for this joke go to my brother-in-law Geoff, who is one of my major joke contributors. (The other one is Roland.)
The Polish Husband Seeks a Divorce
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American lady. Although his English wasn’t perfect they got along very well.
One day he rushed to see a solicitor and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The solicitor said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances relating to the marriage breakdown and he would have to ask the Polish man some questions.
“Firstly, and most importantly, have you any grounds?” asked the solicitor.
– “Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.”
“No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
– “It made of concrete.”
“I don’t think you understand. Do either of you have a real grudge?”
– “No, not need one – we have carport.”
“No sir, I mean what are your relations like?” (A bit exasperated.)
– “Ah, my relations, they very good people and all in Poland,” the Polish man shed a tear.
“There, there, now tell me please, is there any infidelity in your marriage?”
– “Of course! What, you don’t think I provide hi-fidelity stereo and a good DVD player for a family? I hard working man.”
“Does your wife beat you up?”
– “Never! How you can ask such thing as that? I always up before her!”
– “Never! How you can ask such thing as that? I always up before her!”
“I didn’t mean to offend. Is your wife a nagger?”
– “I quite offended – not know what that got to do with it but, no, she white woman.”
“Well, everything sounds pretty okay to me. Why do you want this divorce?”
– “She going kill me!”
“What makes you think that?”
– “You not believe me? I got proof.”
“What kind of proof?”
– “She going poison me. She bought a bottle at drug store and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read English very good and it say:
‘POLISH REMOVER'”