Well, it’s not actually – it’s our friend and neighbour Alan – and today is his birthday. Having recently finished a private commission, my time has been freed up to do other things like… making a personalised birthday card for a dear friend. It wasn’t hard to choose a character to suit Alan’s image; although advanced in years, Alan is still an elegant man with a good physique and debonair good looks. Even sixteen-year-old Miri, daughter of my friend Catherine (at number seven), thinks he is “extremely handsome” and refers to him as “my Alan” owing to the fact that once, when she had forgotten her home key, he saved the young damsel from hours of boredom by inviting her in.
Besides all that, Alan is also one of the old school, one of those who regards his word as his bond. As if I needed any reasons for having digital fun…
Surely this can’t be Alan Bond, the late Australian multi millionaire mogul, famed for his Australia Cup sailing successes and his dodgy business dealings? No, this Bond looks far too suave and sophisticated for that – clearly, his evident quality and debonair manner suggest that he must be that winning character we would all like to know and share in his success – Premium Bond!
Miri and I think he is first rate, but then we are his adherents!