“What’s that?” I wondered.

Was I imagining a dark shape moving hurriedly across the floor in the dimness after the lights went out?

That was four nights ago.

Since then I have seen him regularly, here there and everywhere, sometimes running under the fridge, the sofa, in the bathroom, in the passage, on the carpet in the study…but mostly, he liked the white tiled floors, which was rather difficult for him because he was in hiding. He was a stowaway.

To tell the truth, I started to worry about him yesterday – not that I am in favour of illegal immigrants (except in special circumstances) – you see, as you know I am a “Stepford Wife”, which means there is not a single crumb or scrap left on work-tops or floors… And what does his kind eat anyway? Cockroaches are unheard of here, we don’t even have any mosquitoes in Stepford; we do have determined flies, but they get zapped and are probably poisonous by the time they reach the white tiles… if there are any left after I have been around with my incredible house-hoover with the amazing suction.No, I doubt the poor little fellow has had anything to eat in his three days spent with me in modern luxury. If he had yearned to know to know how the other half lives, he now knows – on very little – especially when you stow away with a Stepford dieter.

I fancy he has been looking for an escape route. Certainly for at least a day… since he lost his tail. That was yesterday… when I tried to save him. Oh dear! Then he went all nervous on me and ran under the television. I wonder if he found the air-conditioning a bit cold? Reptiles like it hot – don’t they? Oh dear, and he had lost a little blood…

But do not fear, all is well. Luckily, as I came out of the bathroom a short while ago we chanced to meet again (well, I nearly stepped on him coming out of the linen cupboard) and… I think the photographs say what happened next.