When you have read this you might well ask yourself, “Why did Sally tell me this?” Therefore, I’ll tell you from the beginning that this is a subject very close to my heart… in more ways than one (cross my heart), seeing as I’m going to write about bras. Well of all things! Yes, I know.

It isn’t a subject I’ve been pondering on too deeply – it doesn’t keep me awake at night – but I got to thinking about bras this morning when a friend wrote the next line to me in an email – “I have recently washed 2 white bras with pink jeans and now have two pink bras, so I needed to replace them, why am I telling you this??” The odd thing is that I knew very well why she told me – bras are the bane of women’s lives.

For a start, it’s so hard to find one that fits perfectly; if they are too big they don’t hold you up (very disappointing, even if the bra cost only £4 in the sales you’ll never wear it!), and if they are too small, they grip you like a vice and cut your breasts (and your back) in two – you will only wear it after you have forgotten about its existence and one day come across it by accident in the back of the drawer! Also, I’ve found that it is quite hard to buy nice white bras nowadays. There are plenty of attractive coloured or patterned ones available but they tend to show through one’s tops unless they match perfectly. Most women like white bras so they can wear them under anything they wear; we prefer pretty bras and avoid the old lady section like the plague… usually, although last week I even cast my eyes in that direction on the off-chance that something pretty might have been hiding there. No way.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a single bra to buy last Saturday because none of the shops I went into had any nice white bras in a 38E, and I have all the polka dots (in various colours), leopard skin prints, roses, zig-zags, buttons and bows that I could possibly want – not that I can wear all of them, of course – some sag a little and look too au naturelle whilst others seem to cut me in half, front and back!

Chris was inordinately pleased when I announced, rather disappointedly, and somewhat annoyed, that I could find not a single bra to buy.

“I would have thought you have quite enough bras already,” he observed.

“Oh, you don’t understand,” I whined, “all I want is nice white bra, that fits and isn’t ugly, to replace the one you ruined when you carelessly put it in the wash with the pink load!”

That shut him up. So now you all know why my friend told me of her plight and also, why I’m telling you this!